A Message From Beyond the Grave

Hey all. It's everyone's favorite former senator from Massachusetts. Thought I'd stop by and give my opinion on this Tuesday's upcoming race for MY seat. Yes, MY seat. Or at least the Democrats' seat. After all, we bought and paid for it.

Scott Brown better be thankful that I'm not among the living right now. Rest assured that if I was, I'd be offering to drive him around the state on the campaign trail. The Kopechne family will tell you what kind of driver I am!

And what is going on with Martha Coakley (who I would love to make the next sandwich)? Has she lost her marbles? I can't believe that she didn't do the honorable thing and kick that reporter her aide pushed down! She's disgracing the Democrats' reputation of hypocrisy, and I'm none too happy about it. There's only one thing women are good for, and I tried like hell to get as much of it as I could in my stint on Earth.

If Brown wins on Tuesday, it'll be a disgrace to everything I worked so hard for in the Bay State. What are people thinking up there? Don't they know that the most important issue is doing what I want despite the fact that I'm not there? Damn, it makes me mad!!!!

Well, it's time for me to go. I've been assigned the top job down here when the boss is away visiting his son in the White House. It's tough torturing souls for eternity, but hey...I did a damn fine job in Massachusetts.

Sincerely,
Ted Kennedy

Brown Mentions TRICARE Cuts During Debate

Monday, a post ran at neo-neocon.com about the recent debate between candidates vying for Ted "Chappaquidick Fats" Kennedy's seat. Right now, Republican candidate Scott Brown has the Dems in Massachusetts breathing into paper bags.

During the debate, Brown was talking healthcare with David Gergen. This clip shows that Scott Brown knows about the proposed cuts and increased premiums to military personnel who have TRICARE insurance.



Where Mr. Brown read about it will probably never be known, but considering I ran a post on Friday about it, there's the possibility that I have a new reader.

Should Brown or one of his staffers be reading this: Go get 'em, Scott!!! And thank you ever so much for your service to this country.

(Thanks to Eric Dondero at Libertarian Republican for alerting me to this. Click on the link below the header on my page to visit his site!--B & G)

Guest Post from Ted Kennedy

My former fellow Americans:

As you may have already read, I've gone on to the afterlife after that damned brain cancer got the best of me. Not that there were a lot of healthy cells left for it to eat up, but...

My stay here in Hell has been interesting to say the least. Gotta say that I got a little nervous crossing the river Styx, but Charon assured me that if I fell in he'd dive in six or seven times to try and get me out.

Did you know that you get a welcome gift upon arrival in the Underworld? Yep. SPF 30,000 sunblock. Not that it makes a difference; it doesn't make you feel any cooler. It does, however, keep you from getting freckles. Healthy skin is beautiful skin.

I've made a few friends here. Me and this other guy named Ted hit it off right away. A real ladies' man he was. I think he spent time alone with 30 or more women back in the day. He was also a law student at one time. We've got so many common experiences to share! Nasty burn on his head, though. Must have been smoking around one of Dad's stills or something. I could've taught him proper conduct around alcohol. That stuff can be dangerous.

The food here isn't too bad. This weird dude named Jeffrey has me on his special diet. I don't know what his secret is, but it tastes just like chicken. He takes it right out of the freezer and onto the stove. No salt, no pepper, and no seasonings, but DAMN is it good!

I've already gotten to meet the head honcho here. What a jagoff! He thinks he's so big and bad. Little does he know that his stories pale in comparison to mine. And that's without the media hype. I mean, did he have his own dynasty of womanizers and crooks? I bet not. I'll show him how the game's played.

Did you know that this place is overrun with Muslims? Yeah. I was shocked, too, but they're EVERYWHERE. They keep me up all frickin' night bragging about how many infidels they killed and how many women they've stoned. Cocky bastards. Bet they never implemented programs that support the killing of MILLIONS of innocent lives like I have. Now THAT'S impressive!

I hope Chris Dodd doesn't decide to open a cafe that serves those special sandwiches we liked to enjoy together. I'll haunt him until the day he dies if I don't get some of the credit. What am I saying? You can't make a sandwich with only one slice of bread! He's not that bright anyway.

Well, it's time for me to sign off for now. Tell Barack and Mahmoud they can bunk with me when they get here.

Sincerely,
Ted "Chappaquiddick Fats" Kennedy

60? Maybe Not.

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

Yesterday, the Minnesota Supreme Court ruled that Al Franken (D) stole...oops...I mean won the contested Senate race for that state. That makes Franken the 60th Senate Democrat, which would insure a filibuster-proof majority. Or does it?

The Senate DOES have 60 Democrats after Snarlin' Arlen Specter defected to the party earlier this year, but ramming through controversial legislation is not a given.

Many senators on that side of the aisle are sticking their fingers in the wind to ascertain just how politically-suicidal their vote may be. They know the American people are getting more and more fed up with being forced to live with policies the majority of people don't want. Also, the American people are catching on to the fact that we are being hoodwinked. If there's one thing the Dems love, it's power, and if they think they'll lose that power by voting for hot-button issues the wrong way, I think they'll save their own pudgy pink butts.

Toss into the mix that two very powerful Democrats have health issues that could make a 60-count vote iffy, and there may just be a fight on the Senate floor. Senator Ted Kennedy (D-MA) and Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV) have both had serious health issues. Kennedy's vote has been unreliable after being diagnosed with a brain tumor, and 91-year-old Byrd was just released from the hospital after a month-long stay for a staph infection. Both men have missed votes during their illnesses.

The only hope that Harry Reid (D-NV) has is this: Dems have to be as strongly united in their vote as the Reps are in theirs. If even one Democratic senator wavers, or, if Kennedy or Byrd are not well enough to vote, kiss that filibuster-proof majority goodbye. And the longer it takes to get a vote to the floor, the more time the American people have to get educated. And they REALLY don't want that.