Sunday, January 17, 2010

A Message From Beyond the Grave


Hey all. It's everyone's favorite former senator from Massachusetts. Thought I'd stop by and give my opinion on this Tuesday's upcoming race for MY seat. Yes, MY seat. Or at least the Democrats' seat. After all, we bought and paid for it.

Scott Brown better be thankful that I'm not among the living right now. Rest assured that if I was, I'd be offering to drive him around the state on the campaign trail. The Kopechne family will tell you what kind of driver I am!

And what is going on with Martha Coakley (who I would love to make the next sandwich)? Has she lost her marbles? I can't believe that she didn't do the honorable thing and kick that reporter her aide pushed down! She's disgracing the Democrats' reputation of hypocrisy, and I'm none too happy about it. There's only one thing women are good for, and I tried like hell to get as much of it as I could in my stint on Earth.

If Brown wins on Tuesday, it'll be a disgrace to everything I worked so hard for in the Bay State. What are people thinking up there? Don't they know that the most important issue is doing what I want despite the fact that I'm not there? Damn, it makes me mad!!!!

Well, it's time for me to go. I've been assigned the top job down here when the boss is away visiting his son in the White House. It's tough torturing souls for eternity, but hey...I did a damn fine job in Massachusetts.

Sincerely,
Ted Kennedy

17 comments:

The Born Again American said...

Brutally funny... That was a masterpiece... If truth is stranger than fiction, then facts are funnier than lies...

William said...

Ol' Martha is swimming like crazy to keep her head above a political wave. Oh, did I say, "swimming?" ;) heh heh

Ran said...

So Teddy... tell us: How is Mary Joe treatin' ya? RIGHT! Sorry, pal. She went to Heaven.

Snarky Basterd said...

Hey, now ... you're stealing my material. :^)

Good stuff. Hope you are well.

blackandgoldfan said...

Born Again: Thanks! In humor, the funniest stuff always has a hint of truth.

blackandgoldfan said...

William: When Martha came back, Mary Jo was gone.

Your insensitivity is showing, pal. Might want to cover that up. lol :-D

blackandgoldfan said...

Ran: Great verbal smackdown!

blackandgoldfan said...

Snarky: Sorry. All my best to the family!!!

Soloman said...

Only one thing women are good for... running to the liquor store?

Love the biting snarkasm!

blackandgoldfan said...

Soloman: Thanks, dude! No need to go to the liquor store when you're dad knows the secret recipe! ;)

William said...

"Your insensitivity is showing, pal. Might want to cover that up. lol :-D"

Why thank you Denise, m'dear. Best thing said about me in weeks. ;)

Keep up the good work!

Will

blackandgoldfan said...

Thanks Will! ;-)

The Conservative Lady said...

Great post!

I've been assigned the top job down here when the boss is away visiting his son in the White House. It's tough torturing souls for eternity, but hey...I did a damn fine job in Massachusetts.

This made me laugh out loud.

blackandgoldfan said...

TCL: Glad you liked! I'm also glad you didn't have a mouthful of coffee when you read it. I'd feel terrible if I caused a choking death.

Amusing Bunni said...

That is very creative and great!
Hey, I just read on drudge and I tweeted that Kennedy doesn't even know coakley name....I kid you not,
calling her "marcia"
marcia, marcia, marcia...ha ha ha!
I love it, can't wait for her to LOOSE!

Amusing Bunni said...

You're gonna love my latest post! Esp the lst video!

Happy Monday! Another week of hell begins tomorrow for me!
For America, a week of greatness, no doubt!
Go, Scott Go!

William said...

Hey Denise! Wake up! We won m'dear... WE WON!!!!!!

I didn't see you over at Left Coast Rebel or Libertarian Republican. Time to wake up and rejoice! Scott Brown kicked Marcia Croakley's sorry statist butt! Yahoooooo!!!!!