Monday, April 26, 2010

This Chapter is Complete


After a long and trying journey, I'm here to say that a new chapter is beginning in my life. I'm still unsure about what the future holds for me, but I'm not afraid to take charge anymore. Having both made mistakes in this marriage, my husband and I have decided to call it quits.

I'm continuing to learn from all of this. I've learned that I'm a lot stronger than I've given myself credit for at times and that life is too precious to sit by and watch the world without being a part of it. Adversity may come up and bite us in the behind from time to time, but how we handle that adversity speaks to our character.

When we first met, we truly thought that we had found our soulmates. We had our bumps in the road, but they were speed bumps and not potholes. We worked together to face and resolve problems. I don't know where we lost that, but we did. Maybe the place in the road where we lost that was too far back to try and find it again. I don't know.

As many of you have read, we hit extremely rough times of late. Between work, home, and life in general, the will to fight for our marriage diminished. Compound mistakes on both sides, and the odds of finding what we once had were microscopic. The only thing that hasn't diminished is our love for our kids. THEY are the reason we've decided to focus everything on them and their well-being. They've got all the support from both of us that they'll ever need.

In a few weeks, I'll be moving to my own place close by. I'm purchasing a home for me and the kids, and their lives will only be disrupted a bit. They'll attend the same schools and have the opportunity to visit with dad every evening if they so choose. Friends from school will be their neighbors, and the opportunity for them to gain social skills is there. Once again, God has blessed me.

Things may have not worked out for me and the husband, but I hope he finds happiness. I wish him no ill will regardless of the past mistakes we've made. The kids think the world of him, and I'll not tarnish that image. Truthfully, we've been more civil since coming to this decision than we have in a long time. We've vowed to move forward with our lives, and I have much hope and anticipation to see where this new road leads.

To anyone out there who may be in the same position as I was when this journey started: There is hope (and not the stupid BHO kind) for happiness and peace. Stay strong, stay focused, and ALWAYS be true to yourself. You're much too special to settle for anything less. You deserve all the happiness the world has to offer. Don't think that you don't. And always keep the faith. It moves mountains and blazes new paths for us to follow.

I just hope the world is ready for a B & G fan with a taste for life.

13 comments:

Andrew33 said...

As a fellow Christian, I believe that from a religious standpoint, that we are to try to stay married at all costs. However, there comes a point where doing so is impossible. From what I have seen with your situation you have done so. Trying to turn your kids against their father would ultimately lead to them hating both of you. That helps no one and would ruin any chance of working things out with your spouse in the future on any level. In the end, you don't have to justify your actions to your readers. It is also not the place of anyone here to judge your personal life. It is my hope that your story and the way you are telling it will help others in dealing with or avoiding similar circumstances.

blackandgoldfan said...

Andrew: That's been my intention all along. If just ONE person finds strength, courage, and hope for the future in all of this, I will have succeeded. I'm blessed on sooooo many levels!

Left Coast Rebel said...

I'll offer up prayer for you that you find more of that inner strength that suprises (even you). Best of wishes and you are not alone!

Amusing Bunni said...

Hi B & G: I wish you nothing but the best. You deserve happiness. Good luck with the new home. I wish I could move. It will be exciting setting up a new house. TTYL, Bunni

blackandgoldfan said...

Thanks, LCR!

blackandgoldfan said...

BOF: It's definitely going to be different. I've got almost 20 years of crap accumulated to go through since I'm going to be limited on space. That's the part I'm dreading!

Andrew33 said...

We are all praying for you. You know you can turn to any of us for support.

Howlsatmoon said...

Prayers and thoughts go out to you. Been there, done that, and it's all "fortunately" chronicled from the beginning....sheesh, almost Three years ago.

A bit of silly sounding advice, before you just start pitching stuff out, think about whether the kids might like it in a year or so....

I threw out a lot of memories....some of them not really mine to throw away.

Good Luck with the new digs....decorated any darn way you please!!!

Soloman said...

Hey...

Hope you're doing well...

Stay strong, be patient with yourself and everything around you.

You've got a whole new world in front of you, so through the turmoil, be sure to slow down once in a while and enjoy it!!

blackandgoldfan said...

Thanks, Andrew. Yinz have been amazing through all of this. I've been blessed.

blackandgoldfan said...

Wolff: I'm not one to just pitch stuff at random. I'm going to let the kids go through their stuff and decide what to take and what to leave at dad's house. It's only fair to them.

The decorating is going to be interesting. I've got sooooo much Steeler stuff.... Where to put it all is gonna be fun. I may be the only woman I know with a black and gold Steeler bedroom! lol

blackandgoldfan said...

Dear Soloman: As much as I'm chomping at the bit to try and catch up for all I've missed, I've got to keep things in perspective and keep my patience in check (gonna be tough). If I don't, I know that making big mistakes is a certainty. But enjoy? HELL YEAH!!!! The world better look out!

The Conservative Lady said...

You sound like you've got yourself in a good place and are taking all the right steps for you and your children. I've been there once myself, so I know going out on your own with children is not an easy thing to do. Thankfully, their dad is going to be there for them...that is important.
Good luck and you are remembered in my prayers, too.