Why I Don't Drink

Happy New Year to everyone out there! Your favorite B & G fan has been working hard at the bar, so if you feel neglected, I apologize. Today marks the third day of a five-day work streak. Couple that with taking care of the house and shoveling global warming, and it becomes apparent that my dance card is full.

I don't drink for a myriad of reasons. While that is a personal choice on my part, I have no problem with anyone partaking in the fruit of the vine. In fact, I prefer being designated driver to ensure that everyone makes it home safely. But why I choose not to drink seems to offend people who offer to buy me a round.

The first reason is the fact that I'm on anti-anxiety medication to stem panic attacks. Faced with not being able to leave my home for fear of getting sick in public, medication was my only option. While some people are able to have a couple of drinks while taking this class of meds, I can't. Tried it once and woke up puking after only two drinks.

Secondly, I don't want the legal trouble of getting caught for a DUI. I've got a lot to lose if I got sloshed and killed someone unintentionally. Plus, the guilt would kill me.

The third reason became evident on New Year's Eve at the bar. That night, the revelers were ringing in the new year, and everything seemed to be going fine....until one customer accused another of staring at his wife (who was dancing around the bar). What followed was arguably the most vicious bar fight I've ever seen. Trust me when I say that I've seen many in my younger years.

We had three "Instant Assholes" (just add alcohol) in the bar that night. As I stated before, one started on another customer about staring at his wife. From there, another patron tried to calmly neutralize the situation by talking. The jealous husband then tackles the Good Samaritan into the wait station, opening the Samaritan's head. Blood flowed faster than the alcohol.

Two of the jealous hubby's friends (who have a reputation for looking for trouble and liking it) decided to take another potential do-gooder outside and beat the ever-loving snot out of him. The police and ambulance were dispatched. Definitely not a happy New Year for a few celebrants.

The Good Samaritan received stitches in his eye, and the do-gooder was taken to the local ER to have his lip repaired. His nose is also broken. No word on the pending charges against the IAs.

While this made for a somewhat exciting evening, I prefer my sobriety. I'm not a buzzkill on the party scene, but someone has to have a clear head under certain circumstances. And I thank God I had one on New Year's Eve.