The Chicago Olympics

Dear Leader and Mobama are set to go to Denmark to push for the 2016 Olympics to be held in Chicago. While we're all familiar with most of the Olympic events, I thought I'd add a few events to be included should Chitown get the bid.

• The Roland Burris Musical Chairs Event -- This event involves paying for a Senate seat, so the athlete with the most money wins. Look for an oil-producing country to win the gold.
• The Chicago Deep Dish Pizza Eating Contest -- Italy wins this one. Should the Italian team be bested by another country, the winning athletes get fitted for cement shoes.
• The William Ayres Bomb Building Competition -- Contestants will get a chance to build a bomb and detonate it at Chicago Police Headquarters. The winner will be determined by whether they feel they've done enough. Place your money on Iran to win this event.
  
• The Richard Daley Mayoral Run -- Athletes will be allowed to run through the streets of Chicago to see who can garner the most amount of bribes. The athlete with the highest amount of cash and assets takes the gold.
• The Chicago Cubs Baseball Event -- While all athletes will get close to winning a medal, they won't pull it off.
• The Barack Obama/Tony Rezko Real Estate Event -- Competitors will get to wheel and deal throughout the city to see how many properties they can scam out of the owners. The athlete with the lowest assessed property value at the end of the competition will be declared the winner.
• The O'Hare Airplane Dodge -- Players will get the opportunity to play "chicken" with 747's during the business rush at O'Hare. The last one left standing is declared the gold medalist.
• The ACORN Voter Drive -- All athletes will register to vote without having to prove eligibility. The competition will be to see who can vote the most number of times in as many voting booths as possible throughout the city. All votes will be counted.
  
• The Altgeld Gardens Food Stamp Race -- Contestants will start on the roof of Altgeld Gardens with a month's supply of food stamps and wind their way down all floors to the bottom. Elevators will not be in use. The player with the most amount of food stamps left when they reach the bottom is declared the winner. Should all contestants die before making it to the bottom, the athlete found dead on the lowest level will win a posthumous gold medal.

This would make the Olympics so much more fun to watch, eh?

UPDATE: Thanks to my BOF, bunni, for giving me some info. The Altgeld Gardens race was originally The Cabrini Green Race. She told me Cabrini is no longer there. Thanks, hon!

The Second Amendment in Chicago

Yesterday, the 7th circuit Court of Appeals upheld a handgun ban in Chicago and neighboring Oak Park. Their reason? The Second Amendment is not adequate basis for filing lawsuits. HUH??

This just makes me crazy. The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that local handgun bans are unconstitutional, but a little thing like the Constitution doesn't seem to matter to the Handgun Control, Inc. crowd. And isn't it just a little ironic that this all came from Barry's home state and beloved city? Could it be a subliminal message being put out there? Who knows.

The Second Amendment was put in place to allow law-abiding citizens the right to protect themselves against oppression and tyranny. Without the Second Amendment, we can't defend the others. That's why Hitler disarmed the citizenry. He didn't have much trouble taking over then, did he?

And let's look at the Windy City. I've never been there, but from what I've been told by people who have, there are certain sections of town and certain times of night that you would not want to be out on the streets. I wonder how the gun grabbers would feel if they were to encounter a little gang banger on the street pointing a Glock in their faces. Do you think that they would continue to believe that gun was obtained legally? Oh, they probably would.

Of course, it would all be due to how misunderstood the youth of today are. Misunderstood? Give me a break! Most parents today have no spine. If my mother had gotten a call from jail when I was 11 and 12 years old, I'd have been begging the cops to keep me there. Today's kids (and some parents) don't care. To them, getting busted for armed robbery or killing a rival gang member is a badge of honor. This is what years of liberal programs have done.

If I'm walking down the street and some punk decides to mess with me or my family, I hope he feels lucky. He'll meet my little friend.