At 6:53 a.m. Eastern Time this morning, a large mushroom cloud was spotted over the mountains of Pennsylvania. While details are sketchy at this time, it appears to be the result of a B&G-58 nuclear warhead.
According to reports, the detonation came after an unknown member of the male species referred to the house he lives in as a "shithole." Though witnesses will attest to the fact that his home IS cluttered, the reference to his humble abode is inaccurate.
Recent events have fueled the tensions between the warring factions. At issue has been unilateral labor policies between the two sides. While both parties are partially at fault, one side has been working toward a peaceful solution more than the other.
Also at issue has been the unwillingness of other minor parties to contribute to the clean-up of said "shithole." This unwillingness has sparked a "Why try?" attitude among one of the major tribes and has been encouraged by the other major player. When tensions have gone up in recent weeks, one party has been assigning blame to the other for "being a bitch." This morning, all of this culminated in nuclear disaster.
A & E Television may bear some of the blame for this mess. Recently, a show titled 'Hoarders' has become quite popular with one of the factions and has possibly contributed to an air of paranoia. While the other side has tried jamming the signal and hiding the remote on Monday nights, it has been to no avail.
Blog readers were warned last week that this strike could come at anytime and may have been overdue. While unable to avert disaster, most will not be surprised to learn of this morning's events.
It's hard to tell just how long this battle will go on, but no peace talks are scheduled at this time.