At 6:53 a.m. Eastern Time this morning, a large mushroom cloud was spotted over the mountains of Pennsylvania. While details are sketchy at this time, it appears to be the result of a B&G-58 nuclear warhead.
According to reports, the detonation came after an unknown member of the male species referred to the house he lives in as a "shithole." Though witnesses will attest to the fact that his home IS cluttered, the reference to his humble abode is inaccurate.
Recent events have fueled the tensions between the warring factions. At issue has been unilateral labor policies between the two sides. While both parties are partially at fault, one side has been working toward a peaceful solution more than the other.
Also at issue has been the unwillingness of other minor parties to contribute to the clean-up of said "shithole." This unwillingness has sparked a "Why try?" attitude among one of the major tribes and has been encouraged by the other major player. When tensions have gone up in recent weeks, one party has been assigning blame to the other for "being a bitch." This morning, all of this culminated in nuclear disaster.
A & E Television may bear some of the blame for this mess. Recently, a show titled 'Hoarders' has become quite popular with one of the factions and has possibly contributed to an air of paranoia. While the other side has tried jamming the signal and hiding the remote on Monday nights, it has been to no avail.
Blog readers were warned last week that this strike could come at anytime and may have been overdue. While unable to avert disaster, most will not be surprised to learn of this morning's events.
It's hard to tell just how long this battle will go on, but no peace talks are scheduled at this time.
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14 comments:
The missues and I agree to just throw shit out when the house turns into a "shithole." The rule is: hoard your shit in your spot, don't leave it out for public display ... or ... strangely ... the fireplace will reach out and grab it and burn it up.
Chin up, dear.
I suppose the problem is solved if you ask me: the alleged 'shithole' is now simply a hole.
Probably a pretty big hole, at that.
Snarky: I have no problem throwing stuff out or giving it to charity. It's He Who Walks Behind the Rows who has issues with hoarding. But yet he seems to think I'm on the way to hoarding because I'm working and things get a little outta hand from time to time.
I gotta keep my chin up. Can't aim very well with my head hung low. :)
Fredd: I might just fill that hole with smoldering ashes that used to be his stuff.
I gotta keep my chin up. Can't aim very well with my head hung low. :)
Er,umm...
Wow, bummer... I know name calling is never productive, and accusations of emotional instability certainly don't help.
First I must confirm - who has become the 'Hoarders' fan? Either was - lose that show!! Junk TV like that is getting nobody anything good. The only good TV on A&E is The Cleaner and reruns of Criminal Minds...
Besides, Monday night is a football night!!
Beyond that - geez, I hope you can work it all out in a timely fashion with minimal pain and suffering for all parties...
Between home and work, something's gonna break if both keep gnawing at you.
Take a deep breath... and chin up, as Snarky B suggests..
Ran: Sometimes, the situation calls for firepower. lol
Soloman: The 'Hoarders' fan isn't me. I'd rather watch 'Paranormal State' on A & E.
Between home and work, something's gonna break if both keep gnawing at you.
Before I break, I try to take Patrick Swayze's advice in Red Dawn...."Let it turn..." Probably not the healthiest solution, but I refuse to ride an emotional roller coaster.
I suspected that you were not the 'Hoarders' fan, based on your comment to Snarky B.
If he wants to accuse you of hoarding and you really want to get his goat... show him some big-time "who cares" attitude and let the place to go hell.
You'll piss him off, you may get some help... ?
Or you may end up cleaning up a lot but at least you'll know where you stand??
While I appreciate the suggestions, Soloman, help isn't in the cards. His mother catered to his every whim and followed after him cleaning up, so it's just not in his blood.
I think the rule for my daughter is going to be to not marry a man who hasn't lived on his own for at least 6 months.
You've got it half-right for your daughter.. tell her to learn her man's history with mom and if he's pampered by her, she's in for the same.
However... six months isn't enough. Two or three years is more like it... maybe...
Agreed. 6 months doesn't cut it.
The heart of the matter is that I get no help despite working outside the home. I came home tonight and had to do two loads of laundry, pick up the candy wrappers he left lying on the coffee table, threw away about 6 pop cans scattered throughout the house, let the dog out, and got bitched at when I sat down to unwind. Sometimes I figure "If I'm going to get bitched at either way, then why bust my ass?" I just don't get it.
Did you view the video links I sent ya? The last one was my favorite. lol
I have nothing to say as I have been in the same predicament, except I am on the other side of it. In my defense, I do things that my wife and kids do not do, like cut the lawn, clear the driveway of snow and fix everything in the house, as well as clean the cook top (we have a commercial gas cooktop that can be labor intensive to maintain, at least properly). The result has been to assign chores that the kids have to do when they get home. Distribute the labor.
RG: I do distribute some of the labor to the kids. It's the 43-year-old child who doesn't want to participate.
While he occasionally does do some of the more "man-oriented" work around here, I have learned how to change the oil in my car and usually end up with the maintenance of the driveway and walkways around the house in the winter. I can also do minor repairs around the house as I've learned that it takes less time to do it myself than wait for possibly weeks. I also mow the yard (with a push mower instead of the tractor and mower deck he uses; much neater job) and do the weed-eating. All this on top of the housework and a part-time job. I don't know what else he expects from me.
Last night, I came home to find that he spent the evening watching TV instead of doing something as simple as giving the diva a shower. Potato chip crumbs all through the bed, can of pop on the dresser... Guess who cleaned that up on top of all the stuff I mentioned to Soloman?
All I'm looking for is help with even the smallest of tasks. If an honest effort to do so was attempted, this war may have been averted.
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